Attention, presence, and kindness — that is the truest love. Picture Credit: mountvernontherapy.com
By Aisha Zardad
Valentine’s Day often arrives wrapped in expectation. Grand gestures. Carefully chosen gifts. Public declarations. It is a day that celebrates love — yet so often measures it by visibility. Social media can amplify this, showing curated moments that feel like the “standard,” leaving many feeling overlooked or behind. But love is not proven in performance. It is revealed in presence.
Today’s practice invites you to redefine what love means — not as something you display, but as something you embody. Love begins not with others, but within.
The relationship you hold with yourself sets the tone for every other connection in your life. If your inner voice is harsh, love feels fragile. If you are constantly seeking validation, love feels uncertain. But when you are rooted in self-awareness and self-respect, love becomes grounded, resilient, and generative.
Take a quiet moment this morning to ask yourself:
How am I loving myself today?
Where do I need gentleness instead of critique?
Self-love is not indulgence. It is not perfection. It is the way you respond when you make a mistake. It is allowing yourself rest without guilt. It is noticing your needs without apology. It is forgiving yourself for past versions that did not know better, and nurturing the growth you are making now.
From that internal steadiness, love with others transforms. Valentine’s Day can be an invitation to practise mindful connection. Whether you are partnered, single, healing, or somewhere in between, love exists in many forms — romantic, familial, friendship, community, and even quiet compassion toward strangers.
Love with others begins with attention. When you speak to someone today, truly listen. Put the phone down. Maintain eye contact. Notice their tone, their pauses, their expressions. Being fully present with another person is one of the most generous acts of love. In small, intentional ways — a compliment, a kind word, a note of gratitude — you strengthen bonds and create meaningful presence.
Consider expressing appreciation intentionally. Not out of obligation, but with awareness. A simple, “I appreciate the way you support me,” or “I’m grateful for you,” carries more depth than any rushed or performative gesture. Specificity makes love tangible and real.
If tension exists in a relationship, today can also be a space for softness. Love is not the absence of conflict — it is the willingness to repair. It is choosing understanding over ego. It is responding instead of reacting. Even a gentle word, a pause before speaking, or a conscious effort to listen without judgment becomes an act of love.
For those who find Valentine’s Day difficult — grieving, alone, or navigating change — remember this: your worth is not determined by your relationship status. You are not behind. You are not incomplete. You are whole, exactly where you are. You can offer love without expectation, starting with yourself.
Love is present in small, mindful actions:
- Checking in on someone who might feel forgotten.
- Offering patience where frustration once lived.
- Saying “thank you” and meaning it.
- Saying “I’m proud of you.”
- Saying “I forgive you.”
- Saying “I forgive myself.”
At its core, love is presence — steady, attentive, grounded. You do not need elaborate gestures to make today meaningful. You need awareness. When love is rooted in presence, it becomes less about display and more about depth.
Tonight, as the day closes, reflect on the quality of your attention. Did you rush through connection, or did you savour it? Did you extend kindness inward as well as outward? How might bringing more awareness to your gestures transform your relationships in the long term?
Valentine’s Day is not just about who you love.
It is about how you love.
And how you love begins with how present you are — with yourself and with others.
Today’s reflection: Where can you bring more presence into your relationships — and how can you offer that same presence to yourself?
